How did that help?" Momma asked, and tagged along behind Lynette as she and the crew went back in the direction of the helicopter.
"You'll see, Mrs. Canterthumphy" she said. "You'll see a load of help coming this way."
"No we'll see a bunch of strangers who want to laugh at us" Momma said.
(continued)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Chapter Five
At least three things happened during the Commercial Break:
Knucklehead pulled makeup from a kit and popped Momma with it. "Gentle!" she said.
The reporter walked around checking for a better shot, her fingers shaping like a box.
Mike suddenly saw the plainness of the cameraman's face and began to cry.
"Get that kid outta here..." Lynette said. ...giving Momma a smile "...but nearby...not near the plastic, or my purse, Oh Goodness! We're back in 5"
"4...3..." the cameraman pointed at Lynette.
"...We're BACK." the reporter began. "We're back and we're standing here off Crescent and a large woodland lot known as..."
"Crescent Street and an empty lot" Momma said. "Crying kids, crying mother..."
Lynette shot a look to the whole group, and said sheepishly "A local woman with a burden. A burden of great proportions just for the fact that her husband is away in the U.S. of A. Army"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Mike screamed.
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Lynette reported. "It's the evening news I'm Lynette Jameson and we're doing a SPECIAL REPORT". She reached into her jacket pocket and handed Mike something. It was a small safe piece of plastic made in China.
Mike shut his mouth around the green toy soldier.
"...Children," Lynette shrugged poetically, "...are our future, but getting them there might be the death of ours. Meet Mrs. Sally Canterthumpy."
"Hello," Momma said. You could tell she wasn't into it.
"Mrs. Canterthumpy, Sally...why are you living here in the woods?"
"Well, I can't leave my boy. I have to stay with him. And my boy has...well, horns."
"They're antlers Ma'am"
"Horns, antlers, limbs, branches..."
"How did all this come about?"
This seemed to make Momma mad, and she really didn't want to be interviewed by the brunette-hiding blonde-impersonating TV star. "Well, we've always had tails in my family, not horns."
The blonde reporter shot Momma a glare. "You joke"
"How do I know what happened? My boy comes to me three days ago with a headache BC Powders can't even fix." Momma stands-up, and the cameraman loses his tripod to follow her.
Knucklehead trailed with a fuzzy long microphone which looked like a poodle thingy and a mobile light.
Little Mike dropped the green plastic Chinese-US soldier from his mouth and aimed his young choppers in the direction of the poodle.
Knucklehead pulled makeup from a kit and popped Momma with it. "Gentle!" she said.
The reporter walked around checking for a better shot, her fingers shaping like a box.
Mike suddenly saw the plainness of the cameraman's face and began to cry.
"Get that kid outta here..." Lynette said. ...giving Momma a smile "...but nearby...not near the plastic, or my purse, Oh Goodness! We're back in 5"
"4...3..." the cameraman pointed at Lynette.
"...We're BACK." the reporter began. "We're back and we're standing here off Crescent and a large woodland lot known as..."
"Crescent Street and an empty lot" Momma said. "Crying kids, crying mother..."
Lynette shot a look to the whole group, and said sheepishly "A local woman with a burden. A burden of great proportions just for the fact that her husband is away in the U.S. of A. Army"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Mike screamed.
"SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Lynette reported. "It's the evening news I'm Lynette Jameson and we're doing a SPECIAL REPORT". She reached into her jacket pocket and handed Mike something. It was a small safe piece of plastic made in China.
Mike shut his mouth around the green toy soldier.
"...Children," Lynette shrugged poetically, "...are our future, but getting them there might be the death of ours. Meet Mrs. Sally Canterthumpy."
"Hello," Momma said. You could tell she wasn't into it.
"Mrs. Canterthumpy, Sally...why are you living here in the woods?"
"Well, I can't leave my boy. I have to stay with him. And my boy has...well, horns."
"They're antlers Ma'am"
"Horns, antlers, limbs, branches..."
"How did all this come about?"
This seemed to make Momma mad, and she really didn't want to be interviewed by the brunette-hiding blonde-impersonating TV star. "Well, we've always had tails in my family, not horns."
The blonde reporter shot Momma a glare. "You joke"
"How do I know what happened? My boy comes to me three days ago with a headache BC Powders can't even fix." Momma stands-up, and the cameraman loses his tripod to follow her.
Knucklehead trailed with a fuzzy long microphone which looked like a poodle thingy and a mobile light.
Little Mike dropped the green plastic Chinese-US soldier from his mouth and aimed his young choppers in the direction of the poodle.
"Nu-ugh, NO kid." Knucklehead whispered to Mike. But it was too late, Mike got a good tight hold and pulled the fuzzy cover completely off the long microphone. "HEY!" he said. "Come back with our..."
It was too late, Mike had left the set, poodle-thing in mouth and soldier at arms.
"Let him go, " Lynette said. "...continue with your story Dear."
Knucklehead bumped Momma in the shoulder with the long microphone to a loud "THUMP" followed by a CRASH, and a softer "BLEEP-Bleep-bleep. We're Clear!"
Momma seemed irritated by the trailing electronics, but continued. "...The boy is a good boy, he goes to 2nd Grade at the school up the street. He likes vegetables. He says his prayers. He helps me watch my younger son's lead intake."
Momma moved-in for a close-up. "Then---he awakes with horns one day and two Tuesdays later we're surgically removing him from his blue comforter set and sturdy built bunk beds."
The reporter cleared her throat. "But why here? In the woods?"
"Would you let a reindeer roam around in your house?" Momma pulled-out a tissue so quickly it must have been half-cocked at her side.
"I'm not a reindeer" Manley whimpered. "...I'm a BOY."
"SHHHHHHHH of course you are..." the reporter said, sending a bit of a shiver even to the plain M&M cameraman, who was going for another one of Lynette's required 3-second close-ups "Your poor Mother is speaking."
"I know you're not, Joseph." Momma said, "...we just had to get a more 'open space' until my husband Conrad's Platoon can be contacted. They can tell us what to do."
"And let me get this straight...you say you have been here in the woods? Living in the woods?" The reporter winced, as if she had just smelled the dirtiest dirt bag whiff of a damp dirty dog.
"Well," Momma said. "...we were warm, we had a thick blanket."
Lynette gasped, and, off-camera, snapped at the White M&M to come in for a close-up of Momma. "You mean to tell me you have no friends, no loved ones, no superficial neighbors who you could have called and convinced to feign interest?"
"...a doctor came this morning, took one look at us, then ran away."
Years of chasing stories and trying to predict recent developments had made the brunette-covering, jacket, scarf and wig-wearing producer-reporter aware of something.
Something she could see that everyone else had the inability to see. This thing was something that could make or break you in the industry, depending on how well-tuned your foresight was to see it---and Lynette was sure that it was time for: the cliffhanger!
She wrapped her arms around the two, well, including Manley as best as she could wrangle, but especially Momma. For a settling couple of moments her microphone groaned and protested any hugs from strangers.
For TV effect or for habit, Momma shed a single tear and turned toward Plain M&M and Knucklehead and the rest of Buckner County and Beyond so they could see her pain. You could have written the words What to Do With Manley across her face. And this made Manley cry as well.
"...A down-right SHAME. Look at this poor mother of two! No Husband. No friends. No Kindness from Strangers! Living on the ground in the filthy forest full of bugs, cold-blooded crawlies, animals and hairy things with Big Feet who leave footprints so deep this poor child could fall in and surely get hurt!"
"WHHHHHHHAAAAAAA" little Mike spewed.
Lynette reached-down and patted Mike on the head. "...For now, in the Danger Zone at Crescent and Empty Lot, this is Lynette Jameson reporting for the Five Live at 5 Team, Tomorrow's News Today."
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Chapter Four
There is a substance stronger than iron. It's effects have been known to this world since the beginning of time.
It has the power to make one change plans, mid-travel.
It has the guilt-wielding force of 100 nuns bearing 99 rulers and a laser pointer.
It's the Doppler Effect for Families of all sizes and locales. It's the chain reaction of mental sweeping that occurs when we witness our mothers cry!
So many neighbor people had seen Momma cry, that behind the scenes a story was brewing.
Tucked-away in the woods, she and the boys kept as quiet as possible. Like any strong-willed mother, Momma intended on making this "outdoor experience" as fun as possible while she thought of her choices. At the present, she was showing Manley and Mike how to make crafts out of freshly fallen pine straw.
An occasional snooping person would wander into the area, gawking. The three got used to not looking-up at the visitors, although Mike would point.
When all seemed about to burn in the belly of boy boredom, the wind began.
"...thop. Thop. THOP." The sound was certain. Mike jumped to his feet, tossing pine straw aside. He looked high into the trees and pointed-up.
"Helicopter, Momma" Manley said. "Helicopter!"
Momma gathered the boys as close as possible without skewering herself on an antler. "I see!"
"Maybe it's Daddy!" Manley said.
Mike must have heard the word DADDY because he jumped with glee and pointed so hard his arm could have pointed and kept rising and Manley wouldn't have been surprised.
The machine bore down on them with an obnoxious whomping.
"No," Momma said, seeing the number. "...sorry guys. It's just a Fox affiliate."
The boys looked puzzled, but kept crooning their necks until the helicopter disappeared behind them into the clearing. There was a big blue numeral---5...painted on both sides.
"It's the news, the local news station!" With this, Manley took-off on a trot.
Momma would have none of this and tried a look. But Manley wasn't in the direction to see the look, much less refrain from trotting. Mike followed, but was obedient to Momma's plea of STOP!
"We'll be on TV!" Manley shrieked.
"We'll be on TV." Momma shrieked, the latter having a more horrific tone.
The shadow of the helicopter from the clearing--- slowing eking it's way into the woods---brought with it more than just a chance for publicity:
The unloading news crew of one reporter, one cameraman and one knucklehead provoked these emotions:
It seemed curiously interested.
It seemed dangerously important.
It seemed to scare more than it wanted to share.
It was a chance to tell Manley's story. That's what the brunette female producer had said. The three media persons walked around them clipping-on wires and then hiding them away from camera views.
Manley seemed to smile and welcome the attention.
Mike just wanted to chew on the more expensive plastic they had brought. At one point he knocked-over a backlight and the bulb fell to the forest floor without breaking. Mike seemed oblivious to any danger.
Momma thought of her husband and was suddenly embarrassed and glad that Colonel Conrad Joesph Canterthumpy was thousands of miles away, across the ocean.
"Coming to us soon, Lynette," the Cameraman began.
"Canter WUMPY" said the knucklehead, who was holding a huge silver thing that looked like a fan but seemed to also be a light.
"Thumpy, not Wumpy" whispered Manley. He smiled but again, the reporter reached around and pinched him on the back, just hard enough to make Manley wince.
"Canterthumpy," she continued. "And townspeople have gotten afraid---very afraid! of this phenomenon."
Manley didn't understand half her words, and the Knucklehead was trying to shoo little Mike away from some electrically taped plastic thingy. "Hey, hey..."
The reporter snapped her fingers silently, but so direct that Mike looked in that direction and dropped the goods. Not missing a beat, she continued. "...His father, a brave soldier fighting for each and every one of us, and our freedom, across the ocean, doesn't even know of this mystery..."
Momma began to sob, and Knucklehead moved the light in her direction. The cameraman, who was so plain looking he might as well have been a white M&M, broke the camera free of its tripod and ran-in for a close-up of Momma's tears.
"I love TV" Manley could barely contain his enjoyment.
The reporter whispered "Shhh" in Manley's ear and released some of the pressure of her pincher grip to re-direct the two cameramen in her direction. "What you will see tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, will AMAZE you. May I present...ANTLER BOY!"
Manley, Mike and Momma all gasped. The cameraman caught all three with mouths agape and attentions ripe---just ripe!---for these very words from the brunette-blonde red coated, scarved and wigged reporter:
"...we'll be back to explain after these messages."
It has the power to make one change plans, mid-travel.
It has the guilt-wielding force of 100 nuns bearing 99 rulers and a laser pointer.
It's the Doppler Effect for Families of all sizes and locales. It's the chain reaction of mental sweeping that occurs when we witness our mothers cry!
So many neighbor people had seen Momma cry, that behind the scenes a story was brewing.
Tucked-away in the woods, she and the boys kept as quiet as possible. Like any strong-willed mother, Momma intended on making this "outdoor experience" as fun as possible while she thought of her choices. At the present, she was showing Manley and Mike how to make crafts out of freshly fallen pine straw.
An occasional snooping person would wander into the area, gawking. The three got used to not looking-up at the visitors, although Mike would point.
When all seemed about to burn in the belly of boy boredom, the wind began.
"...thop. Thop. THOP." The sound was certain. Mike jumped to his feet, tossing pine straw aside. He looked high into the trees and pointed-up.
"Helicopter, Momma" Manley said. "Helicopter!"
Momma gathered the boys as close as possible without skewering herself on an antler. "I see!"
"Maybe it's Daddy!" Manley said.
Mike must have heard the word DADDY because he jumped with glee and pointed so hard his arm could have pointed and kept rising and Manley wouldn't have been surprised.
The machine bore down on them with an obnoxious whomping.
"No," Momma said, seeing the number. "...sorry guys. It's just a Fox affiliate."
The boys looked puzzled, but kept crooning their necks until the helicopter disappeared behind them into the clearing. There was a big blue numeral---5...painted on both sides.
"It's the news, the local news station!" With this, Manley took-off on a trot.
Momma would have none of this and tried a look. But Manley wasn't in the direction to see the look, much less refrain from trotting. Mike followed, but was obedient to Momma's plea of STOP!
"We'll be on TV!" Manley shrieked.
"We'll be on TV." Momma shrieked, the latter having a more horrific tone.
The shadow of the helicopter from the clearing--- slowing eking it's way into the woods---brought with it more than just a chance for publicity:
The unloading news crew of one reporter, one cameraman and one knucklehead provoked these emotions:
It seemed curiously interested.
It seemed dangerously important.
It seemed to scare more than it wanted to share.
It was a chance to tell Manley's story. That's what the brunette female producer had said. The three media persons walked around them clipping-on wires and then hiding them away from camera views.
Manley seemed to smile and welcome the attention.
Mike just wanted to chew on the more expensive plastic they had brought. At one point he knocked-over a backlight and the bulb fell to the forest floor without breaking. Mike seemed oblivious to any danger.
Momma thought of her husband and was suddenly embarrassed and glad that Colonel Conrad Joesph Canterthumpy was thousands of miles away, across the ocean.
"Coming to us soon, Lynette," the Cameraman began.
As if she'd changed by forest phone booth--- the brunette female producer had added a red sports jacket, scarf, wig and was now the blonde female reporter! The newly coiffed blonde looked at Momma, Mike, Manley, and her crew, giving them one of Momma's looks "We're going LIVE, LIVE, LIVE in FIVE. SHHHH!"
"In five, four, three..." the Cameraman said.
"Good evening America," the reporter began. "I'm Lynette Jameson for Tomorrow's News Today, Tuesday's edition. Tonight---The Unexplained! Do we have a beast among us, which walks within our wood?" She grabbed Manley by the arm and pointed for the camera to GO WIDE GO WIDE on the forest.
Manley smiled, but as the producer-reporter grabbed him he began to get upset. His face began to squint as she grabbed harder and harder.
"A beast so lonely," she continued "...that it's forced to live here, deep in the woodland wasteland feeding on alfalfa. What is it, you say? Townspeople are said to be up in arms over this thing! But the rumor you hear is true. This thing is not a beast after all, but a boy. A sweet, sack of sticky sloppy selfish seven year old innocent baby boy whose name is Manley Canter...uh? Uh?" The reporter looked-down at her pad.
"Canter WUMPY" said the knucklehead, who was holding a huge silver thing that looked like a fan but seemed to also be a light.
"Thumpy, not Wumpy" whispered Manley. He smiled but again, the reporter reached around and pinched him on the back, just hard enough to make Manley wince.
"Canterthumpy," she continued. "And townspeople have gotten afraid---very afraid! of this phenomenon."
Manley didn't understand half her words, and the Knucklehead was trying to shoo little Mike away from some electrically taped plastic thingy. "Hey, hey..."
The reporter snapped her fingers silently, but so direct that Mike looked in that direction and dropped the goods. Not missing a beat, she continued. "...His father, a brave soldier fighting for each and every one of us, and our freedom, across the ocean, doesn't even know of this mystery..."
Momma began to sob, and Knucklehead moved the light in her direction. The cameraman, who was so plain looking he might as well have been a white M&M, broke the camera free of its tripod and ran-in for a close-up of Momma's tears.
"I love TV" Manley could barely contain his enjoyment.
The reporter whispered "Shhh" in Manley's ear and released some of the pressure of her pincher grip to re-direct the two cameramen in her direction. "What you will see tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, will AMAZE you. May I present...ANTLER BOY!"
Manley, Mike and Momma all gasped. The cameraman caught all three with mouths agape and attentions ripe---just ripe!---for these very words from the brunette-blonde red coated, scarved and wigged reporter:
"...we'll be back to explain after these messages."
Monday, January 21, 2008
Chapter Three
Deep within the woodland clearing, a miracle!
Although along the level of being lucky enough to see toenails grow, the 2-foot long antlers grew to four feet. Manley was, with horns, about eight feet tall at this point.
Point was the word! Actually Manley had twelve distinct horned "points"---or places where his antlers could easily hold yesterday's after the morning after Christmas ornaments.
Manley could see that he was becoming different. Yet, he would not allow himself to be afraid. After all, he had the blood and rubbings of Colonel Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy, U.S. Soldier! "WOW!" he said. "Look at how light they are, and move from side-to-side!"
Manley scratched his heels against the dirt and took-off on a gallop!
"I have horns!" Manley said. The forest seemed to echo "...horns, ...orns, ...orn".
As he was amused by this, it was quickly forgotten for the wild rotations of the antlers. "Look, they move about!"
Manley dropped the antlers to the ground, digging-into the soft dirt and pine straw.
Just as fast he zoomed his head to the sky! "These are mine, truly mine!" the boy exclaimed.
His time of personal fascination could have fit into an aluminum Vienna Sausage can.
A slow trail of "concerned" Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Knuckleheads trailed-in, with cameras and plenty of advice.
Some ooohed and ahhhed.
Others Hmmmed and Wellled.
"Get 'em removed" One said. "I know a doctor."
"Take a pill" said another.
"Go to France" said an Aunt, who Manley had never seen before.
Manley and the group of homeopathetic relatives gave her a look, ---which surely meant they were kin to Momma.
One uncle asked "...what could that do?"
"France is beautiful. Good for the soul. I always like to have the option!" she exclaimed.
To that, the relatives shoooed and boooed!
As the sun made long shadows out of small trees the crowd dispersed, back to wherever family goes after a big event; some weeks away, others mere minutes. But gone from sight and situation.
Manley awoke to his mother and brother asleep next to him.
The three were covered in a huge brown blanket. Because of the chill, Momma and Mike had each taken separate sides of Manley, and their faces were almost covered completely by the comforter. With Manley's antlers at half mast, his sleepy head occasionally bobbing---from a distance the three resembled an undiscovered forest species mix of moose and Jersey cow.
In the calm that happens right before some Early Riser does something loud, a man in a lab coat appeared. He had a stethoscope, and a black bag of instruments. "Good Morning!" he exclaimed. "What have we here?"
Momma, who still had her face under the brown blanket, said "Move, move!"
"...Good thing Doctors still make house calls."
To the doctor it sounded like the words "Moose, Moose! Gosh dang it has claws!"
And within two seconds, the doctor ran away.
"Wait!---Come back?" As Momma watched the man disappear, she whimpered "Oh Manley."
Little brother Mike reached-up and grabbed the lowest rungs of Manley's antlers and climbed. They were a proud pair, twelve pointers worthy of any grand Buck. "Up, Up!" Mike said. For added effect, Manley moved his head from side-to-side. Amazingly, this did little to increase the weight of the horns.
"I love you." he giggled. This was all fun and games, and just another day of adventure beginning for the smallest brother.
"Me too Mike" Manley said.
"My two boys!" Momma said, reaching inside her pocket for a tissue, and looked away to keep herself from gushing again.
"What are we going to do?" She whispered to herself.
Although along the level of being lucky enough to see toenails grow, the 2-foot long antlers grew to four feet. Manley was, with horns, about eight feet tall at this point.
Point was the word! Actually Manley had twelve distinct horned "points"---or places where his antlers could easily hold yesterday's after the morning after Christmas ornaments.
Manley could see that he was becoming different. Yet, he would not allow himself to be afraid. After all, he had the blood and rubbings of Colonel Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy, U.S. Soldier! "WOW!" he said. "Look at how light they are, and move from side-to-side!"
Manley scratched his heels against the dirt and took-off on a gallop!
"I have horns!" Manley said. The forest seemed to echo "...horns, ...orns, ...orn".
As he was amused by this, it was quickly forgotten for the wild rotations of the antlers. "Look, they move about!"
Manley dropped the antlers to the ground, digging-into the soft dirt and pine straw.
Just as fast he zoomed his head to the sky! "These are mine, truly mine!" the boy exclaimed.
His time of personal fascination could have fit into an aluminum Vienna Sausage can.
A slow trail of "concerned" Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Knuckleheads trailed-in, with cameras and plenty of advice.
Some ooohed and ahhhed.
Others Hmmmed and Wellled.
"Get 'em removed" One said. "I know a doctor."
"Take a pill" said another.
"Go to France" said an Aunt, who Manley had never seen before.
Manley and the group of homeopathetic relatives gave her a look, ---which surely meant they were kin to Momma.
One uncle asked "...what could that do?"
"France is beautiful. Good for the soul. I always like to have the option!" she exclaimed.
To that, the relatives shoooed and boooed!
As the sun made long shadows out of small trees the crowd dispersed, back to wherever family goes after a big event; some weeks away, others mere minutes. But gone from sight and situation.
Manley awoke to his mother and brother asleep next to him.
The three were covered in a huge brown blanket. Because of the chill, Momma and Mike had each taken separate sides of Manley, and their faces were almost covered completely by the comforter. With Manley's antlers at half mast, his sleepy head occasionally bobbing---from a distance the three resembled an undiscovered forest species mix of moose and Jersey cow.
In the calm that happens right before some Early Riser does something loud, a man in a lab coat appeared. He had a stethoscope, and a black bag of instruments. "Good Morning!" he exclaimed. "What have we here?"
Momma, who still had her face under the brown blanket, said "Move, move!"
"...Good thing Doctors still make house calls."
To the doctor it sounded like the words "Moose, Moose! Gosh dang it has claws!"
And within two seconds, the doctor ran away.
"Wait!---Come back?" As Momma watched the man disappear, she whimpered "Oh Manley."
Little brother Mike reached-up and grabbed the lowest rungs of Manley's antlers and climbed. They were a proud pair, twelve pointers worthy of any grand Buck. "Up, Up!" Mike said. For added effect, Manley moved his head from side-to-side. Amazingly, this did little to increase the weight of the horns.
"I love you." he giggled. This was all fun and games, and just another day of adventure beginning for the smallest brother.
"Me too Mike" Manley said.
"My two boys!" Momma said, reaching inside her pocket for a tissue, and looked away to keep herself from gushing again.
"What are we going to do?" She whispered to herself.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Chapter Two
Thank Heavens for the Ladies' Lounge.
Mrs. Canterthumpy's refuge was painted pure pink. She plopped-down on the aptly covered chenille commode cover. Mike came in behind her and instantly went and hid behind a towel, his feet clearly visible.
"Boo!" Mike said.
"Mike I can see your feet." She managed a bit of reluctant glee. If only Momma had time to play.
She scratched her head. What to do with Manley? Momma could hear gawkers gathering near her yard below.
A passerby walking outside said "...if you eat nuts, Son, we got 'em."
"...he's NUTS." someone else laughed.
This made Momma angry. She washed her hands in the sink, grabbed something from Manley's room, then went downstairs and out to her lawn.
There were now about 20 people gathered at the edge of the wood looking at Manley, who had fallen asleep standing-up, his antlers wedged against (and stuck to?) a tree.
"Boy, I say hey Boy" and older gentleman said. "You okay? What's that there on your head?"
"Reindeer Boy" a kid squawked. A group of small boys snickered.
Another boy said "...'ent that Manley the Moose Canterthumpy?" Some of the boys laughed at the name.
"Boy!" the older gentleman called. There was no waking Manley, at least.
Momma walked slowly past the crowd, and, whispering under her breath said "...that's our boy. Leave him alone."
A curious woman with a big hat was blocking Momma's view of Manley. With Mike tagging her left thigh, she cleared her throat and said "..excuse me. That's, ugh, my boy."
The woman seemed to reach into her purse so quickly Momma thought she needed a breath mint. "...I have this article," the woman began. "I found it in Today's News two Tuesdays before yesterday...How NOT to Raise a Child."
Momma gave her a look, which even made Mike cower. "...Manley is a good child, and I'm a good mother."
Mike gave the salute of agreement and Momma scooped him up into her arms with the other thing she was carrying.
"..I'm just saying." the big hatted woman said.
"THANK YOU" Momma said. "And I appreciate your interest." She shooed the woman aside then headed closer to Manley. The boy stood as close to the clearing entrance, asleep with his head leaned forward against a cedar. His arms dangling.
"...Baby," she whimpered. She ran to Manley and scratched his forehead.
Manley awoke, and with his very small, and somewhat discouraged voice said"...I'm not a reindeer!"
"I know you're not Joesph" his mother said. Beside him she placed his favorite thing: his Dad's heavy (borrowed) goose down pillow.
"Momma, my pillow!" he said, and they kind of fell to the ground in a huddle.
The three of them hugged and considered their options. For a few precious moments, the world was blocked away and none of this was happening.
After a while the mummering from the crowd began to bother Momma.
"Nothing to see here," Momma said "...just a mother with her two boys."
Some people would stare for a minute, then walk on. Momma tried to shut them out of her mind. Mike closed his eyes so hard he fell asleep.
These three things were seen or heard:
Old people stopped at the clearing shaking their heads.
An occasional bark from a curious dog.
A few hand points and skirt tugs from children Mike's age.
Other neighbor folk came and brought information. Tony, who was known in the neighborhood as Tony the TV Watcher, came up and said something surprising. "I saw this on TV last week."
Momma shrugged.
"I recorded it," Tony said "...want to come watch?"
"What channel was it on?" Momma asked. A voice deep in her head was hoping Tony didn't see it on National Geographical or World of Wonders.
"I saw it two days before yesterday---Tuesday---on the Good Morning Today show at ten" Tony said.
Momma rolled her eyes in disbelief.
"Really," Tony said. "It was a television program about someone who had a BUMP."
"These are horns," Momma explained. "It's not the same."
Manley, who was still within earshot, covered his face with his small hands. Slowly, he traced his fingers from his eyebrows to the large horns now protruding from his forehead. "...thanks anyway Mister." Manley said.
It didn't seem like having horns was a good thing after all.
Momma and Mike followed the neighbor Tony to his house, and passersby still continued to throw pieces of half-eaten fruit (and peanuts) to Manley. "...I'm not a reindeer, I'm a boy." Manley whispered. He went deeper in the woods, away from the spectators.
In the forest Manley felt great. He was a giant. Using his forehead to turn his antlers side-to-side, he was a formidable creature---Man-Boy! His dad would be proud.
That's when a frightening thing occurred for Manley. His horns began to grow bigger in front of his eyes!
Mrs. Canterthumpy's refuge was painted pure pink. She plopped-down on the aptly covered chenille commode cover. Mike came in behind her and instantly went and hid behind a towel, his feet clearly visible.
"Boo!" Mike said.
"Mike I can see your feet." She managed a bit of reluctant glee. If only Momma had time to play.
She scratched her head. What to do with Manley? Momma could hear gawkers gathering near her yard below.
A passerby walking outside said "...if you eat nuts, Son, we got 'em."
"...he's NUTS." someone else laughed.
This made Momma angry. She washed her hands in the sink, grabbed something from Manley's room, then went downstairs and out to her lawn.
There were now about 20 people gathered at the edge of the wood looking at Manley, who had fallen asleep standing-up, his antlers wedged against (and stuck to?) a tree.
"Boy, I say hey Boy" and older gentleman said. "You okay? What's that there on your head?"
"Reindeer Boy" a kid squawked. A group of small boys snickered.
Another boy said "...'ent that Manley the Moose Canterthumpy?" Some of the boys laughed at the name.
"Boy!" the older gentleman called. There was no waking Manley, at least.
Momma walked slowly past the crowd, and, whispering under her breath said "...that's our boy. Leave him alone."
A curious woman with a big hat was blocking Momma's view of Manley. With Mike tagging her left thigh, she cleared her throat and said "..excuse me. That's, ugh, my boy."
The woman seemed to reach into her purse so quickly Momma thought she needed a breath mint. "...I have this article," the woman began. "I found it in Today's News two Tuesdays before yesterday...How NOT to Raise a Child."
Momma gave her a look, which even made Mike cower. "...Manley is a good child, and I'm a good mother."
Mike gave the salute of agreement and Momma scooped him up into her arms with the other thing she was carrying.
"..I'm just saying." the big hatted woman said.
"THANK YOU" Momma said. "And I appreciate your interest." She shooed the woman aside then headed closer to Manley. The boy stood as close to the clearing entrance, asleep with his head leaned forward against a cedar. His arms dangling.
"...Baby," she whimpered. She ran to Manley and scratched his forehead.
Manley awoke, and with his very small, and somewhat discouraged voice said"...I'm not a reindeer!"
"I know you're not Joesph" his mother said. Beside him she placed his favorite thing: his Dad's heavy (borrowed) goose down pillow.
"Momma, my pillow!" he said, and they kind of fell to the ground in a huddle.
The three of them hugged and considered their options. For a few precious moments, the world was blocked away and none of this was happening.
After a while the mummering from the crowd began to bother Momma.
"Nothing to see here," Momma said "...just a mother with her two boys."
Some people would stare for a minute, then walk on. Momma tried to shut them out of her mind. Mike closed his eyes so hard he fell asleep.
These three things were seen or heard:
Old people stopped at the clearing shaking their heads.
An occasional bark from a curious dog.
A few hand points and skirt tugs from children Mike's age.
Other neighbor folk came and brought information. Tony, who was known in the neighborhood as Tony the TV Watcher, came up and said something surprising. "I saw this on TV last week."
Momma shrugged.
"I recorded it," Tony said "...want to come watch?"
"What channel was it on?" Momma asked. A voice deep in her head was hoping Tony didn't see it on National Geographical or World of Wonders.
"I saw it two days before yesterday---Tuesday---on the Good Morning Today show at ten" Tony said.
Momma rolled her eyes in disbelief.
"Really," Tony said. "It was a television program about someone who had a BUMP."
"These are horns," Momma explained. "It's not the same."
Manley, who was still within earshot, covered his face with his small hands. Slowly, he traced his fingers from his eyebrows to the large horns now protruding from his forehead. "...thanks anyway Mister." Manley said.
It didn't seem like having horns was a good thing after all.
Momma and Mike followed the neighbor Tony to his house, and passersby still continued to throw pieces of half-eaten fruit (and peanuts) to Manley. "...I'm not a reindeer, I'm a boy." Manley whispered. He went deeper in the woods, away from the spectators.
In the forest Manley felt great. He was a giant. Using his forehead to turn his antlers side-to-side, he was a formidable creature---Man-Boy! His dad would be proud.
That's when a frightening thing occurred for Manley. His horns began to grow bigger in front of his eyes!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Manly---with Horns! (a short story)
PROLOGUE
(Atlanta) Under a birch tree during a freak rainstorm I looked-up from my winter cap to see two protruding branches going forward about seventeen feet! It looked like I had antlers.
I wondered what it would be like to wake up and have a pair of horns---like antlers?
I moved my head from side-to-side as if the tree branch antlers above would move with me! Ridiculous.
As I stood there in the rain, under the trunk's protective branches I thought about how one morning I had awaken to antlers, of sort.
That October 2005 morning during a normal visit to my doctor, I learned that I had a brain tumor.
Lucky---mine was the most common non-cancerous tumor, a Pituitary Adenoma. The doctor said it was a mass on my pituitary gland, inhibiting it from producing (important body hormones such as, in my case), testosterone.
As a Blanket Statement my mother always said "...men never go the doctor unless it's about their You-Know-Whats" and in my case, well...that was part of the reason. I felt like my energy level was very low, and I rarely wanted to work-out at the gym. I just needed testosterone--- yet had a tumor that "wasn't life threatening but WAS libido & vision threatening,". It was scary.
I worked my way through that problem, with the help of many people, including Ron Leathers. THANKS to everyone for that.
So under the limb of that tree I began to create a synopsis for a children's book: Manley---with Horns! ...which would be a metaphor about the entire tumor experience.
Imagine: Something is identified as being there, and needing to be removed. Surgery would await and all the scary micro seconds that entailed including hours of laying in a hospital bed. Dealing with crying relatives and others who seemed to think the surgery meant certain death! Recovery, and all the strange dreams that went along with being drugged so one can heal. Actually learning to walk again, and hold your head up without feeling so dizzy your head might fall and burst like an melon on the floor! Reflection, and whether that was even done, or done properly.
The story sounds heavy,but it is told with humor and a light tone. However unique the experience was to me, the event is not mine to own. ---RR
Chapter One
One warm spring morning Joseph Manley awoke with a pounding in his head! The pain was mainly on his forehead. "Momma," he called "...I need an aspirin."
He bound from the bed and ran into the bathroom.
For several minutes, he ruled the family- sized mirror.
The image showed a boy. A normal boy in pajamas. A normal boy except that he had HORNS!
They were small antlers, but horns nonetheless.
Manley's mother, a woman who never missed the small moments in Life, came into the bathroom. When she saw Manley, she screamed! "Darling, what has happened?"
"I dunno!" Manley shrugged and ran back to his bed in a flutter of socks and blankets.
Under the covers he was normal. Under the security of Dad's (borrowed) heavy goose down pillow he was safe. His family was safe. And he didn't have horns in the dark!
Though when he slowly reached-up with his hand and rubbed his forehead, he felt them. They were exactly the same size of real coins. "I can be brave with horns!" Manley whispered.
Manley thought about his father, way across the ocean serving in the Army. "I have to be the brave one," he thought.
"Joseph Manley Canterthumpy, COME HERE!" his mother was not happy.
She asked 100 questions, it seemed. "What have you done?", "Why did you do this? " and "How did you get those on your head?" she said.
In fact, Manley's mother seemed so concerned and so upset, he turned Momma's voice off in his head. He could see her lips moving, but only heard this---a small, sweet, meek voice deep in the back of his head saying "...I am a boy with horns!"
To the public, Manley thought, a person with horns must be great and highly respected! Maybe when others saw his horns they would pat his mother on the back and tell her she was the greatest mother of all. Horns were great, weren't they?
Within the next several hours Momma did this, in this particular order:
*Removed Manley and Mike from school "...whole family's ill," she told the Principal.
*Covered the blinds on the house with sheets that dad had brought home “by accident” from the Army.
*Wrote a letter to daddy fighting somewhere across the ocean in the war explaining “…things were not right.”
*Rubbed lotion on Manley’s mini antlers, which just seemed “…the right thing to do.”
Before going to bed, Manley ran into the bathroom, where, this time, he DID rule the family sized mirror “strange,” he whispered. The little horns were hard, yet soft at the same time!
That night he dreamed of Dad. And Bad Guys. He felt scared.
He wanted to protect his family, and wanted these new horns to count for something---but---he was still scared. Even though he wanted to talk himself out of it, he seemed to hear the ocean, the water pounding against his dad’s distant shore. This made him go to the restroom!
On the way out he couldn’t help but look at the horns! “Were they bigger, than just a few hours ago?” he gasped! His heart began to beat fast.
Manley ran and jumped into his bed, and underneath the protective bunker of his Dad’s (borrowed) heavy goose down pillow. From this point---although hidden and heavy---Manley could protect Momma and Mike in case of the Enemy—or a robber, or a Baker! (Manley didn’t know what a Baker was, but he knew his Momma thought that it was a Thief!)
Manley could squeeze his ears shut tighter than normal and still hear the ocean. He longed to know what his father was doing. Was he alive? Was he okay? Did he miss Momma and Mike? “…don’t worry about me!” Manley thought.
In fact Manley had a mental message for his Army Dad Colonel Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy---“…your wife and your child are safe---your oldest boy Joseph Manley has grown horns and is protecting them at antler point.”
On nights like this---during the watch---the hours were late but the oldest boy’s eyes were wide. He whispered to the goose down pillow, ever so quietly “…you’d be proud, Dad.” Then he would watch the light in the hallway---brave but yet a whee afraid---until falling asleep.
The next morning things had changed for the worse. Manley’s horns were huge. The antlers had grown several feet!
“Momma!” he yelled.
Mike came in from the other room, holding something in his mouth, at least something plastic instead of something deadly, laughing. Mike pointed to the horns and cooed.
“Shut-up.” He said
Downstairs Momma was cooking sausage. The kitchen was filled with that “ I sure am glad we don’t have to go to school today smell”. Manley bound over and grabbed a link of sausage.
“MANLEY!” his mother gasped.
“What?” Manley looked behind him, as if there might be an insect, or spider on his shoulder.
“Horns, HORNS!” Momma screamed.
“I’m sorry,” and Manley began to cry. He couldn’t control the antlers. It just happened. He tried to run into the other room and sob but was caught short by the sheetrock.
Because he was crying, his mother cried. This made Manley cry less but he climbed his mother’s sausage smelling apron to her nearest tipped ear to whisper “…I’m sorry Momma…it will be okay.”
This made Momma explode with tears, and a sure fountain commenced. Even little Mike cried (although he probably was crying because someone was stepping on his foot, or pinching him in some way, or not feeding him enough deadly plastic for the moment, Manley thought).
“It will be be okay, you’re right my sweet baby” Momma said. The three of them hugged for what seemed like an hour. Then they ate sausage.
The home schooling went on for two days, with a little more growth, but not much.
The third day proved to be the hardest of all. Manley and his mother awoke to a Mathematical Problem: the boy Manley not only had horns, he had large branches beaming-off his antlers as if the Forest Primeval had knighted a new son: the son of Susan and Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy---The Boy with Horns!
From this time to that time Manley’s mother did the following: ATTEMPT to GET MANLEY OUTDOORS
9:05-9:31am
*Bring a breakfast to Manley of mainly fruit and nuts “…I’m no Reindeer” Manley said.
*Turned Manley’s head ever-so-slightly to the left, and then ever-so-gently to the right but ever-so-calculated to the center to make sure the walls weren’t damaged…
*Took whatever plastic it was away from Mike from which he had gourged himself then…turned Manley’s head back to the left, then a quick right to miss the family photograph mounted above the light switch...
It was a process!
And suddenly the whole troop of helpers were outside. And the saddest thing of all occurred to Manley: ---with horns---he had to live outside!
At least outside in an open area.
He took a deep breath. This might not be so bad, he thought, and moved the huge head of antlers and spiney branches.
The horns seemed to react to the open air as weightless! He moved his head from side-to-side so quickly that he took-out the electrical from the back of the house, completely knocking it into the neighbor’s yard!
“Sorry, Marsha!” his mother yelled.
“Your son is a nuisance!” Neighbor Marsha yelled.
Manley tried to move his head around for a complete overview of the destruction, but within the small yard there was hardly room. “Oh, no!” Manley said.
“It’s okay Baby,” his mother wept “…it’s okay.”
(Continued)
(Atlanta) Under a birch tree during a freak rainstorm I looked-up from my winter cap to see two protruding branches going forward about seventeen feet! It looked like I had antlers.
I wondered what it would be like to wake up and have a pair of horns---like antlers?
I moved my head from side-to-side as if the tree branch antlers above would move with me! Ridiculous.
As I stood there in the rain, under the trunk's protective branches I thought about how one morning I had awaken to antlers, of sort.
That October 2005 morning during a normal visit to my doctor, I learned that I had a brain tumor.
Lucky---mine was the most common non-cancerous tumor, a Pituitary Adenoma. The doctor said it was a mass on my pituitary gland, inhibiting it from producing (important body hormones such as, in my case), testosterone.
As a Blanket Statement my mother always said "...men never go the doctor unless it's about their You-Know-Whats" and in my case, well...that was part of the reason. I felt like my energy level was very low, and I rarely wanted to work-out at the gym. I just needed testosterone--- yet had a tumor that "wasn't life threatening but WAS libido & vision threatening,". It was scary.
I worked my way through that problem, with the help of many people, including Ron Leathers. THANKS to everyone for that.
So under the limb of that tree I began to create a synopsis for a children's book: Manley---with Horns! ...which would be a metaphor about the entire tumor experience.
Imagine: Something is identified as being there, and needing to be removed. Surgery would await and all the scary micro seconds that entailed including hours of laying in a hospital bed. Dealing with crying relatives and others who seemed to think the surgery meant certain death! Recovery, and all the strange dreams that went along with being drugged so one can heal. Actually learning to walk again, and hold your head up without feeling so dizzy your head might fall and burst like an melon on the floor! Reflection, and whether that was even done, or done properly.
The story sounds heavy,but it is told with humor and a light tone. However unique the experience was to me, the event is not mine to own. ---RR
Chapter One
One warm spring morning Joseph Manley awoke with a pounding in his head! The pain was mainly on his forehead. "Momma," he called "...I need an aspirin."
He bound from the bed and ran into the bathroom.
For several minutes, he ruled the family- sized mirror.
The image showed a boy. A normal boy in pajamas. A normal boy except that he had HORNS!
They were small antlers, but horns nonetheless.
Manley's mother, a woman who never missed the small moments in Life, came into the bathroom. When she saw Manley, she screamed! "Darling, what has happened?"
"I dunno!" Manley shrugged and ran back to his bed in a flutter of socks and blankets.
Under the covers he was normal. Under the security of Dad's (borrowed) heavy goose down pillow he was safe. His family was safe. And he didn't have horns in the dark!
Though when he slowly reached-up with his hand and rubbed his forehead, he felt them. They were exactly the same size of real coins. "I can be brave with horns!" Manley whispered.
Manley thought about his father, way across the ocean serving in the Army. "I have to be the brave one," he thought.
"Joseph Manley Canterthumpy, COME HERE!" his mother was not happy.
She asked 100 questions, it seemed. "What have you done?", "Why did you do this? " and "How did you get those on your head?" she said.
In fact, Manley's mother seemed so concerned and so upset, he turned Momma's voice off in his head. He could see her lips moving, but only heard this---a small, sweet, meek voice deep in the back of his head saying "...I am a boy with horns!"
To the public, Manley thought, a person with horns must be great and highly respected! Maybe when others saw his horns they would pat his mother on the back and tell her she was the greatest mother of all. Horns were great, weren't they?
Within the next several hours Momma did this, in this particular order:
*Removed Manley and Mike from school "...whole family's ill," she told the Principal.
*Covered the blinds on the house with sheets that dad had brought home “by accident” from the Army.
*Wrote a letter to daddy fighting somewhere across the ocean in the war explaining “…things were not right.”
*Rubbed lotion on Manley’s mini antlers, which just seemed “…the right thing to do.”
Before going to bed, Manley ran into the bathroom, where, this time, he DID rule the family sized mirror “strange,” he whispered. The little horns were hard, yet soft at the same time!
That night he dreamed of Dad. And Bad Guys. He felt scared.
He wanted to protect his family, and wanted these new horns to count for something---but---he was still scared. Even though he wanted to talk himself out of it, he seemed to hear the ocean, the water pounding against his dad’s distant shore. This made him go to the restroom!
On the way out he couldn’t help but look at the horns! “Were they bigger, than just a few hours ago?” he gasped! His heart began to beat fast.
Manley ran and jumped into his bed, and underneath the protective bunker of his Dad’s (borrowed) heavy goose down pillow. From this point---although hidden and heavy---Manley could protect Momma and Mike in case of the Enemy—or a robber, or a Baker! (Manley didn’t know what a Baker was, but he knew his Momma thought that it was a Thief!)
Manley could squeeze his ears shut tighter than normal and still hear the ocean. He longed to know what his father was doing. Was he alive? Was he okay? Did he miss Momma and Mike? “…don’t worry about me!” Manley thought.
In fact Manley had a mental message for his Army Dad Colonel Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy---“…your wife and your child are safe---your oldest boy Joseph Manley has grown horns and is protecting them at antler point.”
On nights like this---during the watch---the hours were late but the oldest boy’s eyes were wide. He whispered to the goose down pillow, ever so quietly “…you’d be proud, Dad.” Then he would watch the light in the hallway---brave but yet a whee afraid---until falling asleep.
The next morning things had changed for the worse. Manley’s horns were huge. The antlers had grown several feet!
“Momma!” he yelled.
Mike came in from the other room, holding something in his mouth, at least something plastic instead of something deadly, laughing. Mike pointed to the horns and cooed.
“Shut-up.” He said
Downstairs Momma was cooking sausage. The kitchen was filled with that “ I sure am glad we don’t have to go to school today smell”. Manley bound over and grabbed a link of sausage.
“MANLEY!” his mother gasped.
“What?” Manley looked behind him, as if there might be an insect, or spider on his shoulder.
“Horns, HORNS!” Momma screamed.
“I’m sorry,” and Manley began to cry. He couldn’t control the antlers. It just happened. He tried to run into the other room and sob but was caught short by the sheetrock.
Because he was crying, his mother cried. This made Manley cry less but he climbed his mother’s sausage smelling apron to her nearest tipped ear to whisper “…I’m sorry Momma…it will be okay.”
This made Momma explode with tears, and a sure fountain commenced. Even little Mike cried (although he probably was crying because someone was stepping on his foot, or pinching him in some way, or not feeding him enough deadly plastic for the moment, Manley thought).
“It will be be okay, you’re right my sweet baby” Momma said. The three of them hugged for what seemed like an hour. Then they ate sausage.
The home schooling went on for two days, with a little more growth, but not much.
The third day proved to be the hardest of all. Manley and his mother awoke to a Mathematical Problem: the boy Manley not only had horns, he had large branches beaming-off his antlers as if the Forest Primeval had knighted a new son: the son of Susan and Conrad Joseph Canterthumpy---The Boy with Horns!
From this time to that time Manley’s mother did the following: ATTEMPT to GET MANLEY OUTDOORS
9:05-9:31am
*Bring a breakfast to Manley of mainly fruit and nuts “…I’m no Reindeer” Manley said.
*Turned Manley’s head ever-so-slightly to the left, and then ever-so-gently to the right but ever-so-calculated to the center to make sure the walls weren’t damaged…
*Took whatever plastic it was away from Mike from which he had gourged himself then…turned Manley’s head back to the left, then a quick right to miss the family photograph mounted above the light switch...
It was a process!
And suddenly the whole troop of helpers were outside. And the saddest thing of all occurred to Manley: ---with horns---he had to live outside!
At least outside in an open area.
He took a deep breath. This might not be so bad, he thought, and moved the huge head of antlers and spiney branches.
The horns seemed to react to the open air as weightless! He moved his head from side-to-side so quickly that he took-out the electrical from the back of the house, completely knocking it into the neighbor’s yard!
“Sorry, Marsha!” his mother yelled.
“Your son is a nuisance!” Neighbor Marsha yelled.
Manley tried to move his head around for a complete overview of the destruction, but within the small yard there was hardly room. “Oh, no!” Manley said.
“It’s okay Baby,” his mother wept “…it’s okay.”
(Continued)
Friday, January 19, 2007
Other Reading with more of an Intellectual slant: http://raisemytownmylove.blogsot.com
Read about the Writing Method and Learn How to Pull Your Hair Out:
http://raisemytownmylove.blogspot.com/
http://raisemytownmylove.blogspot.com/
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